There are numerous points I wish to make in all my posts, catalogued in the various experiences I share with my little squirrel, my adorable donut... my achaby...There are times, I made my donut cry but later make up for it - not out of guilt but simply because I think she got the message. But no matter how consensually we try to live, I cannot and will not let her have her way every time. Sometimes she gets hurt, and I can’t instantly make it better. Sometimes I am just cruel because I cannot cope any longer. It breaks my heart (a phrase I did not fullly understand until having her) every time and yet I would not deny her all hurts even if I could because denying all hurts would deny her the ability to empathize, deny her the ability to sympathize, deny her any chance to grow, deny her the experience of life. But, one thing for certain, while on the one hand, I will never willingly inflict pain on her for no purpose other than to suffer, on the other hand, I realise that I cannot entirely regret that she will know suffering, sometimes outside of my control and sometimes with my collusion.
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